Yeah it's a stupid saying and an Elvis song. But it's true, fools do rush in. They throw themselves at situations with everything that they have, hoping it's going to work. They know that it's never worked for anyone else before, but it's different, it's not THEM. They have something no one else before them did and FOR SURE this time, it will work. They ignore all the nay-sayers, all the logic, all the facts that place obstacles before them and they rush harder than even the best defensive lineman. But what else are they supposed to do? They don't know any better, thats why they are fools after all.
Or maybe they aren't fools at all, maybe they are quite the opposite- they have seen logic fail, reason come up short, and life become nothing more than an hollow shell with what could be filled with love and happiness. Maybe these fools have learned the hard way that it doesn't always work out the way that its supposed to, that the puzzle pieces might all be there, but something isn't quite right. Is it really that persons fault for trying something different? Can we really call them a fool?
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I've made mistakes when it comes to relationships- I've played it too cool, too hott, too them, too me, too... the point is, it was always
too something. So maybe I am a fool, but at least I can say that I never gave anything less than my all. I rushed in full force, ready to try to give love to whomever was willing to give love to me. And maybe it was because I was blinded by the idea of love- so desperate to have that support, that one solid thing in my life that I feel like I have been lacking. Maybe that stability I could find in a person that loved me the way I not only wanted, but needed to be loved. And sure, I have not uncovered the secrets to success in a relationship, I'm not even a little close, like not even in the right galaxy. But what I have done is learned from these mistakes. I am getting closer to knowing what is going on, and maybe some day I will have it fully figured out.
Stay tuned.
Until then, I'll share what I have learned:
- Friends, family, lovers each love you in their own, unique way.
- That unique way reflects how they need to be loved in return.
- Each relationship formed happens in that perfect storm of their need, your need, and what can happen in the current situation.
- Every relationship- no matter how long or short, how intense or mundane, how amazing or terrible- every one matters and should be treasured for what it provided to you.
I am thankful to have had the fulfilling relationships that I did. And I am glad I got to learn from the crappy ones (even if i spent far too much time and energy crying over them). And someday I know that I will have nothing but fulfilling relationships. But until then, I am just going to keep rushing in.
The only problem is, I have kind have started to be me. How is that a problem? You may ask, most would think this is a great thing. Well now that I am actually being me, people seem to be not so ok with it. It is almost as if people have grown accustomed to me shifting into whatever mode works best for them at the time, and now that I choose to be me, regardless of how the other entity would prefer me to handle the situation, it is not always well-received by said entity. I realize that this is something that everyone deals with everyday, but it is new to me because being me is new to me. 
