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What do you do when nothing is wrong? When you are going through life, there are going to be times where there are obvious challenges ahead of you and your task is to think hard, work harder and do whatever it takes to get through it. From these challenges, we learn and grow and become generally better. And hell, more often than not we find a way to roll some good times into that process. But what do we do when nothing is, in fact, wrong?

You would think this scenario is a near nirvana, the utopia that we constantly search for throughout our lives. But just because nothing is wrong, does not mean that everything is right. Or anything for that matter. When things are wrong, we push ourselves. When things are right, we work to maintain that same level of satisfaction. But when things are neither, there is little reason to work for any reason; you have dug yourself a rut and you are safely trudging away in it.

The monotonous back and forth of daily life only deepens the lame state of being. And the only way out is to identify your place in that rut and strengthen yourself mentally and physically to remove yourself from it. Little is going to present itself as a means of forcing new behavior or reinforcing existing ones. 

Sometimes I find myself waiting for a sign. A sign that I am doing something right, or wrong, or anything. Because, frankly, this rut is killing me. I have worn away the ground beneath me in my frantic pacing. The walls grow as the ground sinks, closing me into the chamber I have put myself in; a physical representation of the feelings whizzing around my being. But I am not so sure the sign will show itself. 

So I must pick a direction and force myself to travel thusly. Even if it is not right, it should be wrong enough to force me to want to make it right once more.

(not) feeling it

I really wish I was feeling this (or anything) more.  I have 4 posts in draft, but nothing is really ready to be let out into the great unknown world of the internet.  So for now I will say: expect the unexpected, tomorrow is another day, and things happen (pause) there are reasons.

Keep your head up, and let others help you do so.  We aren't in this alone, even thought we might have to go into battle solo, the support is there for sure.  Take it when you can and be sure to thank them and be there to support them in return.

Life will make sense someday.  Maybe not to you, or me, or anyone who as 2 brain cells that synapse at the same time, but to someone.  Find the hope in that and hold onto it for dear life, because tonight people,  that's all I got for you.

I am not going to put up here something that I don't feel.  And tonight (obviously), I don't feel very coordinated, logical, or much of anything really.  So take what you can from this mess and keep holding on.

More to come.