two freaking years

I almost called this post, "Time Heals All Wounds." But then I realized that was a boldface lie. Well, maybe not, but it is not a statement I feel comfortable saying emphatically (or at all). Time may ease the sting of even the worst burn, it may fade bold colors into nothing more than a faint outline, it may even turn a boulder into the grains of sand that wash upon a beach. But the truth is that time changes, it doesn't erase- that faint memory of what was, even if only a mere shadow of its former self never ceases to exist, it just exists differently.

Source: http://youtu.be/LZ0epRjfGLw

Today I am different. Time has not stopped my existence, rather it has altered the way I exist and I would like to think for the better. I am NOT that same girl that just two years ago dragged herself across a graduation stage already wishing she could undo that walk and what it represented. That girl exists, and its a good thing. Because that girl, as much as the mere idea of her brings pain, she is the shadow of what was, the reminder of what has been and will not be again. Treasured for what she was, but appreciated as only a mere a memory, not an omen.

Today I am different. I have been doing this whole "real life" thing for a full two years now, TWO YEARS. And a lot has happened in that time: I've gone from full time student to full time marketer, from confident senior in the protective bubble of college to the low man on the totem pole of life, from petrified interviewee to petrified interviewer (ok maybe not THAT much has changed...).

Today I am different. This is an interesting day for me- a celebration of a great time in my life (and another great time a year later), but also a painful reminder of the past. It has made this time of year has been a struggle- on top of the fact that it is already the "in between" time. Spring- not warm and clear enough to really be summer nor cold and raw enough to be winter, unpredictable- not crazy enough to call it busy season, but not slow and steady enough to phone it in (like I am even capable of that...). In a word, complicated. In two, overwhelmingly so.

It is a beginning... and an end.... and a beginning.

Take this as an opportunity to appreciate the pleasure and pain brought on by the memories of the past, but remember that those memories are no longer the boulders that once weighed you down and they have become the sand that you can now use to build your castles of the future. Take the extra time to look at what you have already built to get where you are, and what you can build more to the future.