you shouldn't judge a book by it's cover...

... but you can, and you do.

We all know the adage about the inside being what matters; that the content trumps the package in which it is delivered. But what happens when we grow up and realize that the cover actually matters. Of course we know we need the substance, but dusty books with odd covers are often left on the shelf regardless if the content. And what good is even the greatest story when it never reaches eyes because it's fate was dictated by the facade that supposedly matters little compared to the value within?

How unfair is it to the complex and fulfilling stories to have to sit idly by as their shallow and unimpressive counterparts fly past them off the shelves simply because their flashy exteriors announce (false) promises to the world? And even when those promises fall short it is somehow ok because they "appear" to deliver? How comforting is that simple adage then? Not very, and it sucks. But the thing about books is that they got stuck with their one unchangeable cover. Us people, we can enhance our covers.

Now I am not saying that we should have to break ourselves only to squeeze the pieces of our former selves into a mold shaping us into an unrecognizable being. But I am saying that if the story is great, so should be the cover. And if the story sucks, then so should the cover. The cover should be an accurate preview of whatever (insert adjective here) is contained within.

We always try to be ourselves, displaying as much of our story on the outside as we can (or know how).   But the things with people is that sometimes we don't realize how awesome our story actually is. We don't necessarily give ourselves the same chances of having others want to really invest themselves in our story because we keep the dusty jacket of yesteryear. And we should change that.

Sometimes our stories change. The way we presented ourselves yesterday might have been a perfect advertisement of the story within at that point, but our stories are constantly evolving with each experience. And sometimes we forget to update the outside to make sure our current story delivers on the promises of the outside, which we know really matters.

So look at your cover and listen to your story, and make sure that your story delivers on its cover promises. And when your appearance isn't as awesome as your story - refresh it. And when your story isn't as awesome as your cover - go live your life and write the story that delivers on those promises.

3 (long) years

3 years. I have been a real person for 3 whole years. Weird.

And while the better part of my being is tempted to spend my energy looking back on an easier time, I am fighting off the depressing thoughts of how far removed I am from the free-and-fancy college senior lifestyle as I watch those I mentored 3 years ago living the dream that is the final days of college (what? I said fighting, not winning...).  And I think I owe a little of that to myself, but living in the past is neither healthy nor productive so I'll give myself a very mourning period but then I'll tip my hat to the fact that I am growing up.

3 years, I am an adult now:  I'm responsible... for the most part... I mean, I go to bed at a reasonable times...when I need to.... uhmmm.... well, I make plans and budgets...and stick to them... oh wait, no...

HAH - I knew it! I knew I wasn't a full-blown grown-up yet! And of course, I am no longer that crazy, bright-eyed college grad, but that's ok. Because I shouldn't be that anymore. That was then and this is now. Now, I have had so many amazing experiences that have bettered me as an individual and helped me become a more mature person primed for the best years of life.

I realized that today, I have just achieved something great. AND it is the first thing I am able to look back on in my adult life and say "Good job, self. That is an accomplishment you should be proud of." WIN! I finally relieved myself of a burden I have been carrying for years. It was an objective burden amplified by guilt stemming from the fact that I was once weak enough to not only allow, but encourage someone to place such a burden on me. But today I conquered that burden and I think I am finally starting to really forgive myself and move on. Oh crap... maybe I am a grown-up....

Time heals all wounds, but if you have some help things heal a lot faster. And I have had some of the best help a person can ask for. From family and friends that have had my back since I have had a back to have to new friends, mentors, and experiences constantly teaching me and providing a fresh take on life - I am fortunate to have had such a strong and positive force pushing me through this last 3 years and molding me into the pretty awesome woman that I am today.

I am looking at this major accomplishment as the fresh start I have been searching for. As the springboard into the next phase of adulthood (while still avoiding actual grown-up status for as long as possible. Call me crazy but I am feeling like a lot of good things might be happening soon. Here is hoping my feeling is right.