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What do you do when nothing is wrong? When you are going through life, there are going to be times where there are obvious challenges ahead of you and your task is to think hard, work harder and do whatever it takes to get through it. From these challenges, we learn and grow and become generally better. And hell, more often than not we find a way to roll some good times into that process. But what do we do when nothing is, in fact, wrong?

You would think this scenario is a near nirvana, the utopia that we constantly search for throughout our lives. But just because nothing is wrong, does not mean that everything is right. Or anything for that matter. When things are wrong, we push ourselves. When things are right, we work to maintain that same level of satisfaction. But when things are neither, there is little reason to work for any reason; you have dug yourself a rut and you are safely trudging away in it.

The monotonous back and forth of daily life only deepens the lame state of being. And the only way out is to identify your place in that rut and strengthen yourself mentally and physically to remove yourself from it. Little is going to present itself as a means of forcing new behavior or reinforcing existing ones. 

Sometimes I find myself waiting for a sign. A sign that I am doing something right, or wrong, or anything. Because, frankly, this rut is killing me. I have worn away the ground beneath me in my frantic pacing. The walls grow as the ground sinks, closing me into the chamber I have put myself in; a physical representation of the feelings whizzing around my being. But I am not so sure the sign will show itself. 

So I must pick a direction and force myself to travel thusly. Even if it is not right, it should be wrong enough to force me to want to make it right once more.

small victories

We all know there are many phases of life, and the ebb and flow of life leads to some of these phases being better than others. The good times are great, maybe it was your glory days of high school, your animal house in college, maybe it's being married to the love of your life and starting a family- doesn't much matter what it actually is that makes you the happiest, it's more about how everything seems to fall neatly and effortlessly into place. However, as my high school physics teacher once said, "the mutual forces of action and reaction between two bodies are equal, opposite and collinear" (sure he could have said "what goes up must come down," but Mr. Miller was always kind of a show-off). And this, my friends, is NOT just Newton's third law of motion, it's a pretty accurate statement on life. For every high point where everything is coming up roses, there is that time where you can't catch a break to save your soul. And for whatever reason, these lows always seem more relentless and inescapable than the highs.

When times are good, it's easy to keep them that way because there are (seemingly) more good things on which to focus. And the bad times make you feel like you are in a bottomless pit because everywhere you look something else is going wrong to bring your mood down. So I guess what it comes down to is what it is that you are focusing on- you may not be able to change what surrounds you, but you always have a chance to change your attitude when you look for what is scarce.

You can have the best life that there is to have- perfect job, house, car, significant other, friends, family, and so on... but still only see the little thing that is not as perfect as it could be, and then that one little thing can keep you from enjoying all the rest that life had to offer. And conversely, when everything seems to be going wrong, all it takes is one little thing, one small victory to help your mind lead the rest of you into a better state. Maybe it's that one show you like, that phone call with a friend you haven't heard from in a while, that email from a certain someone that makes you smile, the fact that in trying to save some money you gave yourself a manicure and it came out pretty darn good- the point is, when everything is going wrong, there is still something, some LITTLE thing that went right.

They say it's all about mentality, and I am all about the "mind over matter" thing, recently my mind has been down and my matter has been even down-er (yes I know it's grammatically incorrect but it works for dramatic effect people, work with me here) and I need to make a bigger effort to notice the little things and celebrate life's small victories. That is if I can figure out how....