black or white?

Totally should have listend ti the King of Pop on this one. Does it realy matter if you're black or white? Of course we are talking iPhones here. Oh, sorry... were you expecting some profound commentary on race and equality and judgement or lack thereof? Well there will be more of that a different day. Today this is a superficial discussion regarding materialistic goods.

You would have thought I was deciding howe we should approach a hostiage situation with all the pressure. Just needed to pick a color. Got all the technical details narrowed down. But it was the color of the case that had me legit stumped.

The sad thing is that this is a reflection on how I make all my decisions... terribly. I sit and I collect the data- first hand, second hand, whatever hand I can get. Then I analyze- charts, graphs, presentations, ROI. Can't get enough. Then it comes time for the conclusion- that magical moment where all the work I have just done comes together in such a way that there are legit angels getting their wings somewhere.

NOPE.

I literally analyze myself into a non-decision. I spend so much time preparing to make the decision that by the time that I can convince myself into any outcome being the right one. Which is great when you need to know each facet of the possibilities. Much to be said about that. But for me, no matter how much prep-work I do, it always comes down to a matter of reducing buyers remorse.

I make it so that each possibility is as great, albeit different, than the next. I need to make better decisions, need to discount the options that are not good rather than finding the best way to spin it so that it seems good. Put standards into place and not allow things that do not meet them to pass.

Lots of needs, not much action. Yet, I'll get there. Until then, although it doesn't matter very much, I got the white one and am very pleased with the decision (although it is good to know I can get a black replacement phone if I need to replace it for any reason.) Right, working on it.

close your eyes and leap

There are songs, quotes, and generally supportive friends everywhere touting the adage of believing in yourself and taking chances and other nonsense that has no historical proof point, data validation, or case studies to speak of. None, nada, zip, zero. And yet we think it's fine just jump into the next big adventure shouting things like, "no risk, no reward" and "with great power comes with great sacrifice." No wonder  we close our eyes before we leap, we can't bear to see the impending doom before it (hopefully) turns into the great opportunity for which we so desperately yearn. It may or may not also have to do with out determination to defy authority as our older and wiser predecessors always remind us to look before we leap, but that's another post.

Are we insane?

There must be a reason why we think this is somehow acceptable behavior. And, in fact, there is- things happen, there are reasons. The truth is the answers are never clearly displayed before us; black and white seems to have died with the silent film. Now ambiguous greys and distracting noise fill our minds with doubt where clarity will never genuinely land. We have to go out on a limb, make choices based on feelings rather than facts. Frankly, we don't have the time to wait for them.

We take the facts we have, organize them into lists and charts, even the occasional infographic and we throw ourselves into information overload resulting in nothing more than utter confusion. Our pro and con lists grow so long that they render themselves useless. Our cost benefit analyses just leave the users feeling taxed. So the facts can help us, to an extent, but the more we analyze the further we get from an answer. So when it comes time to make a decision we go with what is in our heart... or our gut depending on how you operate. Either way we are ignoring all statistical analysis and going with arbitrary choice.

Photo Credit: Katrina Duke

And when that doesn't work we end up back at the top of this posts listening to empowering playlists, reading self-help blogs, and begging out friends to recite those trite aphorisms. I mean, we need to get the confidence that our analysis failed to provide us in some way. And we do. We have great friends, family, and advisors that push us (lovingly of course) off the edge of what ever decision cliff we are so precariously balancing on in the moment; sometimes they wait for us to close our eyes, sometimes they don't, guess that depends on your friends. The point is we make it off the cliff and we land. We always land.

Not going to guarantee a graceful landing, you might end up with a scrape or bruise or two but land you shall. And if my friend is right I am going to end up taking a leap of faith in myself and land smiling. Guess this risk is one I am just about convinced I am willing to take, see you on the other side.

social not-so-norms

Why is there no handbook on life? And why does no one read the ones that exist.  Yes some do actually exist. I'm not attempting to truly advocate these here, but there has to be SOME baseline for normal social behavior, and lord know I have no idea what the appropriate behavior in most situations is, so I take from what exists and build around it.  That is, after all, the way most people do everything, no?  "Borrow" someone's foundation, build upon it with your own personal flair, and produce something new, never seen by anyone before, even though it is just a "best of" compilation.

But serioulsy, I need some sort of compass to get me throguh life appropiately.  Every time I think I have figured some situation out, something happens that totally negates my previously well researched point.  #bothersme.

the right things for the right reasons

Zappos paying people's tolls in MA the day before Thanksgiving.   Didn't mass promote, people found out after the fact.  They weren't doing it for the attention, they were doing it because it was a nice thing to do.  Doesn't make sense right? Because obviously companies are all in it for the wrong reasons and won't give unless it is to get/spend money to makes money. Exactly. And yet, it is what happened.

People can do it, it doesn't happen as often as it should but the capacity is there.  The right things can be done for the sake of it being the nice thing to do, people and companies.  And that will leave a good legacy.  Yeah sure, there is no IMMEDIATE payoff, but there is a payoff. That payoff is called "living in a world that doesn't suck." Plus you just did the right thing.  Why does that not count any more?

This story combines my passions for doing business the right way and living the right way.  And it gives me hope that I too can some day in both the personal and professional life that I would be proud of living rather than just sluffing along doing things because "it's the way we do things" or it is "the way business are done."

I want to lead a proud life. And this story gives me hope that it will be possible. Let's just hope I can keep this faith before the bitterness of business as usual sets in and I succumb to the pressure and live the life that society defined. They have done enough defining, I will be taking this on for future endeavors. Doing things the right way is more important than doing things society's way.  Time to live the life you want whether or not it was the one laid out before you. You never know, someone else may just pay your tolls.

stop the world

WHY DOES EVERYTHING HAPPEN AT ONCE?!?!  (I think the only reason why that sentence is in CAPS is because of a recent article on the CAPS LOCK KEY.) But really, why? I am just starting to be able to accept life the way that it is, can't I just deal with one thing at a time? I am trying to make the best of this whole "life" thing but then it goes and plays all these games with me.

I mean it's the holiday season, which is crazy for everyone; my career is an absolute disaster (as in there are a lot of changes happening, not that I am not good at what I do.  In fact, I know that I am good at what I do, I just need to be better at telling my superiors that and believing in that fact); I am trying to move so that I can be more stable, sounds backwards but it's going to work; the whole finding a guy thing is pretty much blowing up in my face no matter what I try; it's always everything or nothing with life.  I'm bored, or the sky is falling: cresting at the height of the peaks then crashing into the low of the valley. Can't the topographical map of my life look more like a calm scene of rolling hills rather than the jagged outline of what the Rockies would look like if they were spread out over the Grand Canyon?

I'm just tired. How do people do this for entire lifetimes? God help me if I make it to 90 without ending up in the news for some psychotic breakdown, although a 90 year old me running up and down the street in a ripped nightgown that I have on backwards yelling obscenities (for whatever reason this is how I picture my 90 year old self) would be pretty entertaining. I mean, don't get me wrong- my high points are indeed high enough to balance out even the lowest of my lows, but bouncing so far up and down between the two is just exhausting. I am fortunate to have had the life enriching experiences that I've had and am very grateful for them. Hell, it is what generates half these posts... and if you only knew what I strategically omit... oh the ridiculousness that is my life... but I would appreciate a lull in life, just for a bit, so I can truly get myself in order and proceed forward with a normal-ish progression.

Just a few weeks of static normalcy. Then I will be able to deal with this craziness yet again. Secretly, I love my crazy life: the stories, the people, the sheer entertainment.  But how will I be able to keep learning and sharing all these fun stories with the blogosphere if I am too tired to keep up?  Dear life, please calm down, just for a little while.  Then we can play again! <3 always, me :)