independence day

Yes, I am looking forward to summer this much, but that is not the purpose of the title.  We spend our entire childhood wanting to grow up and be on our own and do everything for ourselves.  I remember feeling trapped by my surroundings, simply waiting for the day when I could be totally independent; making decisions for myself rather than having the choice dictated by my circumstances promised to be wonderfully liberating.  Then I woke up in the real world being all independent and whatnot, and you know what?  It's not all I planned it to be.  Yes parents- you were right, happy?

When we are really young- our caretakers make all our decisions for us.  We start going to school and we take the classes we are told and do the activities our parents think are best.  Then, in high school, we are given more options with class selection and activity- but more often that not that is just an expansion of following what we had been told to do by our investing ourselves more in them.  And really we make the decisions based on more technical things like what will get us into the college of our choosing for example.  Then we get to college - ULTIMATE FREEDOM... but then again not really.  While this is the first time really out of the nest as they say- we still have a slew of things and people to direct us: graduation requirements, resume building, and the desire to land our dream job guide our more academic/career decisions while counselors, professors, and advisors help us with life's difficulties.  

The life happens.  And although the rug isn't pulled out from underneath us per se, the safety nets that have been forever getting further and further away seem to have vanished completely.  There is little other than ourselves that guide our decision making.  And while it feels good while everything is coming up roses, our first encounter with a weed makes us realize how much easier we had it when someone had laid out our outfit for us the night before.  We know we are capable of taking in the facts, processing the information and our feelings around it, and making the right decision.  But it's scary.

Fortunately, we still have people there to help- friends, family, mentors, the internet, the crazy cat lady down the street (hey, don't judge, when you are trying to make a tough decision you will seek advice from and a conversation with anyone); so many people are willing to provide their insights and give advice.  But that's all it is- advice.  Yeah, sure, it's from people who have been there and done that, but their situation and emotions make it such that they will never be able to give you an empirical right answer to what you are facing.  It's the blessing and curse about life- we all go through similar experiences, but just like fireworks, no two are alike.  

We have to remember that we are smart people, we learn for our experiences, and we have people that want to support us through life offering up their knowledge for our benefit.  Take a deep breath, take everything in and know that at the end of the day, you got your wish for independence; time to make your decisions your own and then to own your decisions.