the young and the stupid

When I was 16, I knew everything.  When I was 18, I knew I was stupid at 16 but the remainder of my high school career had made me ready for life thereafter.  When I was 21, I knew I was dumb at 18 and even dumber at 16, but now that I had the first few years of college under my belt, NOW I was good- I didn't need anything else.  At 23, I know that I had no idea what I was doing then, nor what I am doing now, and have finally admitted, I very well might never know what I am going to do.  


When you are in the moment (good or bad), nothing else exists.  Everything feels so majorly life changing; no matter how little or big the moment actually is in the scheme of life, in that moment, it is so all-encompassing you can barely breathe.  And when the canned answer is "it will get better with time," or, "it's really not going to make as much of an impact as you think," the world seems against you.  But recently I found myself in the uncomfortable position of realizing I gave one of those trite responses when solicited for advice.  I literally told someone (younger than I was), that it seemed like a big deal now but "in a few years, it won't matter, you'll be able to look back on it and laugh... or at least not cry."  


REALLY?!?!  Those words, came out of MY mouth.  With sincerity?  Wow.  I had officially shocked myself.  Me, Miss Over-Emotional, said (an meant) that.  I mean I do have to admit, even in my "older/wiser" mindset, I still have a firm enough grasp on my "younger/dumber" side to add the caveat of "I know it feels like your world is crashing down around you" before the "it's gonna be ok."


As much as we learn from out own mistakes and experiences, we learn from others.  That is what inspires me about people; I cannot change what happened to me yesterday, but I can change what happens to you tomorrow.  Sorry, the million dollars you wanted won't be on your doorstep.  And, no, you won't be waking up next to a supermodel in the morning, but I can help you look at things from a perspective you might not have otherwise.  And eve that does not necessarily mean life will be better.  But it's hard to say definitively.  I believe that everything we read, do, say, feel, experience impacts us enough to make a difference, even if we don't see it.


There is truth in the fact that you learn something new everyday.  Your education does not stop when your presence in a classroom does.  In fact, once you stop frequenting a classroom is when you actually begin to learn.  I have learned more in the last ten and a half months than I ever have.  I finally stopped worrying about having the right answers and starting concentrating on figuring out ways to get to them; a shift of focus from the end to the means.  I have let the pressure of perfection slip away- it's ok not to know everything.